Kyle Cooke sent a rage text to Paige DeSorbo about his apparent jealousy of Hannah Berner.
The Summer House preview alluded to the crux of Kyle’s lengthy text being about Craig Conover‘s Spritz Society canned cocktails, which is direct competition to Kyle’s Loverboy canned cocktails.
However, the majority of Kyle’s angst is because of Hannah’s success in the stand-up comedy circuit.
Kyle’s text to Paige:
Kyle wrote to Paige, “Honestly, beyond discouraged. With Craig, too. This wouldn’t be a topic today if it wasn’t for him and about a dozen lies.” That’s all Kyle said about Craig.
And now on to Hannah …
Kyle wrote, “I can’t believe where Hannah is at 3 years later. I’m f*cking apesh*t.”
(ICYMI- Hannah has a wildly popular podcast with Paige DeSorbo, Giggly Squad. Additionally, she has multiple specials and appearances on Netflix comedy specials and an enthusiastic following on TikTok.)
“First, [Hannah] telling Alex Cooper [from the Call Her Daddy podcast] I cheated on Amanda until our wedding,” noted a begrudging Kyle. “All the pain we suffered because of that podcast when it was at its peak. Which I never f*cking confronted you or [Hannah] about. Now this?”
“You’ve been with her this entire time and are now out there saying you wish you stood up for her season 5. Now this? Is this what you think as well?”
This is where Kyle’s green-with-envy hues showed itself. “Hannah had the lowest Q rating” on the entire network. A Q rating is essentially a likability rating.
While it is hard to decode the screenshot of the text, it appears Kyle wrote that if you get “Dave Kaplan drunk, he’ll tell you.” (According to Linkedin, Dave Kaplan is the “Executive Vice President, Content Analytics for Entertainment, Sports and Peacock at NBCUniversal.”)
I feel like Kyle just outed Dave like Lisa Barlow outed Emma the jeweler on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
Where do we go from here?
We are anxious to see if production breezes over all aspects of Hannah in this text …
One option Bravo had was to focus solely on the Summer House VS Southern Charm’s Battle of the Spritzers.
Business wise, it would make sense for the network to leave the Kyle VS Hannah drama out completely. She’s no longer on Bravo TV’s payroll, whereas the Spritz battle engages two of their shows.
Another option is to do some re-editing now that this text has been decoded (thanks to Instagram’s @face4reality16!)
The danger they face with this is leaving their audience feel like ‘victims to the edit.’
IMHO, if y’all are shooting ‘reality tv,’ give us the reality. Kyle is bothered by Craig’s Spritzers, but is legitimately angered by Hannah’s success after getting canned (pun intended) from Summer House.
The real story here is Kyle’s jealousy of Hannah … which is wild considering her comedy career has NO EFFECT ON HIS LIFE, and Craig’s Spritz is a notable competitor for his brand.
I, for one, find this dynamic riveting.
