You’re Fired Pardoned!
In a time when it’s easier to get a presidential pardon than a LABUBU, satirical website, The Onion, published a witty piece about Tom Sandoval.
The article was published just after fraudsters Todd and Julie Chrisley were released from prison unexpectedly.
Art imitating life:
The Onion penned “Trump Pardons Tom Sandoval” for its POLITICS section. (Take a breath…It’s a joke!)
“As part of a flurry of legal actions in recent days that granted clemency to more than 25 people, President Donald Trump reportedly pardoned disgraced Bravo TV star Tom Sandoval this week.”
“Thanks to President Trump, Tom Sandoval will finally be indemnified against all the toxic Vanderpump Rules drama.”
“The president understands that following your heart is not a crime, and he was willing to fight for Tom’s right to cheat with ‘Miami Girl’ or to hook up with a bottle service waitress after absconding to Las Vegas. If anything, it’s Team Ariana that should be punished.”
“She was a total bitch and is clearly just using all the free publicity to push her merch. At press time, Trump had announced plans to make the former site of Sandoval’s failed bar Schwartz & Sandy’s a national monument.”
Kristen Doute giggled over The Onion’s Sandoval Gets Pardoned piece:
I wasn’t the only one who resembled the crying-laughing emoji! Sandoval’s ex slid into the comments to share her amusement.
Those still recovering from Scandoval popped off in the comments of @cicilovesyou‘s post:
- This is why we love Doute 😂😂😂
- Does this mean we get our white nail polish back!?
- This is funny. But no. He has NOT been pardoned or forgiven
It’s about Tom:
ICYMI, Sandoval was cast on season three of House of Villains, which is moving to Peacock.
He’s competing against Paul Abrahamian, Tyson Apostol, Kate Chastain, Jackie Christie, Drita D’Avanzo, Plane Jane, Johnny Middlebrooks, Ashley Mitchell, Tiffany “New York” Pollard, and Christine Quinn for the $200k prize and title “America’s Ultimate Supervillain.”
