Vanderpump Rules alum Scheana Shay is focused on growing friendships that “feel mutual, supportive, and grounded” … unlike several of her “Bas Frans [best friends] we’ve seen in her years on Bravo TV.
On her podcast, Scheananigans, Scheana shared she’s spending more time with friends from Summer Moon‘s school and others NOT on reality television.
A scroll of besties:
Scheana admitted she was overwhelmed managing so many friendships. “I felt a responsibility to keep up with everyone, to check in, to be available, to make sure no one feels forgotten.”
Scheana came to learn that “balance doesn’t mean giving equal energy to everyone.” Instead, she said she believes it means “giving intentional energy to the people who are also showing up for you.” With this new shift in her mindset, she is no longer managing friendships “out of obligation.”
“At this stage in my life, I’m choosing to protect my time and my energy a lot more. I’ve finally learned what boundaries are. It doesn’t mean I value people any less. It just means I’m being more mindful where I invest, and I’m making sure those relationships feel reciprocal more than draining.”
Scheana spends most of her time with ‘normie’ friends and moms from her daughter’s school. “I’m choosing to surround myself with women who build me up and make me feel good about myself, not people I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around.”
Friends from The Valley:
Scheana remains “good friends” with the cast of VPR‘s spinoff show.
“I talked to Brittany [Cartwright] the other day. I talked to Janet [Caperna] yesterday. I’m seeing Michelle [Saniei] on Thursday for dinner. Jasmine [Goode] and I hang out. Zack [Wickham], Kristen [Doute], I just talked to. So they are still all of my friends.”
“They’re all very much in my life, and TBD, what happens with the future of The Valley and me. But I just needed to step away for me, and I think that time away from doing the show is very healing for me.”
Quality over quantity:
Scheana’s friendship philosophy has evolved. She’s looking for “quality over quantity” with friendships. That “clarity” came after reflection on “the harder seasons” and not just “the good times.”
“And for me,” she added, “it’s about paying attention to how I feel after interactions. It’s questioning: Did I feel supported? Did I feel drained or judged or like I had to perform?”
“I think as I’ve gotten older, I just really value depth over access, and I don’t need a huge circle. I need a few people who I can fully trust, who celebrate my wins without jealousy, and just sit with me with my losses without judgment.”
“The smaller your circle gets, the clearer it becomes who truly belongs in it.”
