In his new book, Cake Eater, Carl Radke told Summer House fans about his canceled engagement to his co-star, Lindsay Hubbard.
Dating and sobriety:
Carl, who is sober, explained why it’s not recommended to date within the first 12 months of getting clean. That’s when his friendship with Lindsay turned romantic. “Would I tell someone else to fall in love before hitting their one-year mark? Probably not.”
“There’s a reason everyone says to wait a year, and I’ve seen firsthand how messy it can get.”
“But I don’t regret it.”
“That relationship was part of my recovery. It taught me a lot about myself, about being intimate with someone, and about what I actually need and want in a partner.”
Carl’s dark days:
“There were days during this period when I questioned whether I wanted to be on this earth anymore. That’s not easy to admit, but it’s the truth,” he wrote about the fallout of calling off the nuptials.
“When you wake up day after day to see your name in the news next to words like lies and manipulation, when something as sacred as your sobriety is being questioned, when you feel like you can’t escape the noise and find a moment of peace, it takes a toll.”
He felt “deeply misunderstood” at the time.
“Ending the relationship was painful because I cared deeply about her, and I knew she cared for me. But despite that love, our dynamic wasn’t healthy, and walking away, as hard as it was, felt like the most compassionate choice for both of us.”
“The pattern of conflict, the lack of trust, the communication breakdowns: they weren’t getting better, despite our efforts in couples therapy. I had to be honest with myself: if we went forward, the conflicts we couldn’t resolve now would likely follow us into marriage. I wanted a future built on stability and trust, and despite the love we had, I couldn’t see us creating that together. I couldn’t go through with the wedding knowing what I knew.”
Carl’s POV:
“I believe in the sanctity of marriage. It should be a celebration of a relationship, not a Band-Aid for a broken one.”
“Walking away from the engagement was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but I stand by it. Every weekend, thousands of couples get married, knowing it’s not the right thing to do. They go through with it anyway, have kids, buy houses, and end up divorced within a few years.”
“I didn’t want that for either of us.”
