RHOP Recap: Seaweed and Shade

From Candiace's sassy mom to Ashley's digs on Robyn, catch up on all the shade from RHOP season 3 episode 3!

April 16, 2018 3:37pm

Compared to last week, last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Potomac was pretty much the exact opposite of my hair in the mornings: tame.  However, there was still plenty of shade being thrown. Robyn’s issues with Monique and Ashley exploded in episode three, and we got to know Candiace and her man better.

The episode began with the conclusion of Karen’s “press conference.” Karen calls Gizelle trash for her #taxreform and #FreeUncleBen t-shirt. I mean, how has Turbo Tax not scooped up Gizelle already? I almost missed Karen storming out of the room given her ridiculous all camouflage jumpsuit.

Monique plans a birthday party for her husband in this episode. “Between moving and dealing with the nanny issue, I’m being pulled in a million directions,” she exclaims.  Okay girl, we get it. I like Monique, but honestly she reminds me of an insecure man with a giant, loud car constantly revving it up to show how macho he is. The more he revs and the more she talks about how busy she is, the less I believe it.

Karen giph

The same drama is still going on with Ashley involving her mom and Michael. We learn that Ashley’s mom has had a boyfriend for 15 years whom Michael and Ashley disapprove of. Monique tells Ashley that she must choose between her family and her husband which seems pretty unfair considering her husband is also her family now. How many episodes can we possibly drag out the Ashley’s mom versus Michael thing? I mean, yawn.

Monique invites new girl Candiace over, and the three women have a lit pool day, literally. Ashley throws some shade on Candiace for competing in Miss USA as opposed to Miss America before the three women smoke cigars poolside.

There was more talk of the Grand Dame’s possible grand debt as she tells her daughter, Raven, not to worry.  She comforts her daughter during a smelly seaweed facial which I’m definitely going to try a DIY version of next time I’m at the beach.

Predictably, there’s mention of Robyn’s past financial mistakes again as she apologizes to Juan for the bad investment she made, admitting that Juan had warned her. Robyn is now flipping houses, and I truly hope Robyn and Juan become the new Tarek and Christina from HGTV’s Flip or Flop.

We meet Candiace’s very opinionated mother as Candiace is wedding dress shopping. Candiace looks gorgeous in the first dress she tries on, but apparently it’s not to her mother’s liking. “You can get that at Walmart,” her mother comments. To quote every character from That 70’s Show, “Burn!”

burn

The most jaw dropping part of the episode was during Monique’s husband’s birthday when Winecream was introduced to me for the first time. Winecream is the combination of two of the world’s delicacies: ice cream and wine. While I can’t give them props for the uncreative name, I applaud them for the joy they put forth into the world.

Wine icecream

Robyn took issue to a meme of her that was posted on Monique’s fan page. And what better time to bring that up than during a large party at Monique’s house?Understandably, Robyn has her guard up after the financial turmoil and rough patch with Juan she went through last season, and I truly feel bad for her. However, the meme was posted on Monique’s fan page by a fan, not by Monique. There is no reason to blame Monique for what her fans posted. I mean, if anything give the girl props for actually having a fan page.

Robyn reminds me of the Rosé desert wine I paired with the ladies of Potomac last night. I liked her at first, but she has bitter notes, and the finish isn’t quite right for my palette. Former housewife Charrisse gently chastised Robyn after her argument with Monique. However, Robyn soon got into another heated discussion, this time with Ashley. Robyn is still hung up on comments Ashley made about Robyn’s relationship with Juan.

Leave it to a “drunk white boy” to provide comic relief by doing a back flip off the balcony into the pool in the middle of the party. Candiace was slightly annoyed by her drunk fiancé’s performance and proceeded to push him into the pool again. More screen time for this couple please!

Of course, the episode ends with Robyn and Ashley still yelling, and things come full circle when Monique states, once again, that she is in fact a busy woman.

What do you think of RHOP season 3 so far? Let us know!


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