RHOP Recap: Hot Gossip, Cold Pizza

rhopizza

This week’s episode of RHOP starts with the women settling back into their normal lives after their drama filled trip to France.

Gizelle Bryant catches up with her friend/hairdresser to discuss Karen Huger’s shadiness towards the women about her life and living situation. If Gizelle truly cared about Karen, she’d lend her her hairdresser. It was hard to focus on anything in the next scene because Karen’s wig looks very crooked the entire time. Karen sits down to eat with her supposedly loyal minion, Matt the Assistant (side note: someone needs to make an instagram of him that rivals @madisonmarieparksvalette’s ASAP). Karen confronts Matt about spreading the rumor that Karen lives in a townhouse, which he denies and she willingly believes.

nene caution

Candiace Dillard catches up with her sister, Crystal, to talk about their hair collection. They both want to open up a physical store, so they call their mom to discuss it.  The very first question their mom asks both of them is “how’s your weight?”. Uh, what?! Honestly, I don’t even have the energy to explain my intense outrage at this comment, but I think it pretty much speaks for itself. Candiace eventually gets more control in the business, although I’m such it’s not much consolation for having a mother like that.

Meanwhile, Robyn Dixon checks up on her investment property. Gizelle and Ashley Darby stop by under the guise of “helping,” but there’s really not a lot of construction work that can be done in high heeled boots. They help by taking a few therapeutic swings to a wall before taking a champagne break. Honestly, sledge hammers followed by expensive bubbles sounds like a perfect day. The three ladies plan to stop by Karen’s house in disguises to cut through all the secrecy surrounding her living situation. Because showing up in disguises isn’t hypocritical at all when you’re berating someone for their secrecy…

Monique Samuels makes a different type of plan as she prepares a night of relaxation for her man. The couple talks over cigars and a warm fire, and Monique actually offers to rub her husband’s feet…I don’t care if my man paid for me to travel the entire world in a private jet, I would never willingly offer to rub his feet unless he asked. He surprises her with cake and shoes, as if the trip to France wasn’t enough of a birthday gift. Chris is killin’ it.

dina shoes

I wouldn’t be surprised if Ashley wanted to swing by Robyn’s property again to take a couple more swings after her conversation with her mom. Ashley tells her mom what Michael said about his fear she will end up a bad parent like her mother. Understandably, Ashley’s mom is more upset than Ashley is. I don’t even know if I could ever tell my mother that let alone continue to date someone who ever said that about me or my mother. I’m not so patiently waiting for the news that Ashley and Michael broke up and that Ashley is thriving alongside someone who welcomes her home with dozens of Coronas and sex.

Candiace and Monique meet up with Karen at a harvest festival, and Monique laments about having to go through her mother for wedding plans. At least her mom is paying for it! The women encourage her to spend more quality time with Chris as opposed to using all her energy towards wedding planning which she agrees to.

The time comes for Robyn, Gizelle, and Ashley to put their plan into action. They order an actual pizza to deliver to Karen’s house to see if she really lives there. They truly went the extra length to make this authentic, and I for one appreciate it. Although, there’s nothing I appreciate more than how hilarious Robyn looks dressed as a pizza guy with a long beard and dad jeans. If house flipping doesn’t work out, Robyn would make a great menswear model.

rhop disguise robyn

The three women start whispering before they’re even out of the car. They work up the nerve to walk to Karen’s alleged house in what appears to be the middle of the night. It’s probably not the most inconspicuous thing to be running around someone’s yard with a camera crew, but hey, whatever.

The episode ends with Robyn standing on Karen’s porch holding a half empty pizza box while her friends run away, and I’ve never related more to Robyn than in this exact moment. In the end, aren’t we all just people trying to deliver cheesy goodness to the world, fearing our friends will leave us at any moment?

Do you think Karen will find humor in the situation or want to throw the pizza in Robyn’s face? Comment your predictions for the season finale below!

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