RHOD Recap: Something is Rotten in Denmark

Season 3 - Episode 13

November 8, 2018 12:45pm

As much as I love living vicariously through the Housewives, I could never be one. Primarily, because I don’t have the funds. But also, because I would never survive on these girl trips they take. A trip with one or two of them, maybe. But the whole group? I still have PTSD from a sleepover I had to participate in when I was in 9th grade. It was at our head cheerleader’s house and the entire point was to have a bonding session that would result in all of us getting along. (Yes, I was a cheerleader. Please stay with me) It didn’t work. One girl had to go home because she got overheated doing backflips on the trampoline outside, and the one girl who actually was my friend peed on the floor outside of the bathroom because two of the cheerleaders locked themselves in there. This friend shared this experience with the group, by the way, so she remained my only friend throughout that season by default.

All this to say, without previews, I totally could have called how this Copenhagen trip was going to go.

After a long flight (longer for D’Andra Simmons and LeeAnne Locken who flew coach like they were in my tax bracket) the women arrive in Copenhagen, Denmark. They hop in their ride and the drinking immediately begins. Everyone seems a bit tired with the exception of Kameron Westcott, who seems surprisingly loose. She’s trying to talk like what she believes a rapper would talk like, she’s talking about wearing her leather jacket, she spills champagne on D’Andra and follows that up with “karma’s a bitch.” No, she’s not becoming tough. She was hopped up on Xanax.

Eventually, they arrive at the hotel and are welcomed by more alcohol. The women are all staying in a penthouse suite and it’s unreal. After pairing up, the women begin dressing for dinner and we’re treated to our first hint that the night is going to go south. While D’Andra and Cary Deuber do their makeup, D’Andra brings up the alcoholic comment made by LeeAnne and then goes into how people in Dallas talking about her, which leads to her claiming that the only way anyone could know about her drunken adventures in Beaver Creek is if one of the other women said something. And who does she believe those women were? Duh, Kameron and LeeAnne. When is this whole I-don’t-care-what-“society”-thinks-of-me movement going to begin?

While D’Andra is busy giving a flip, Brandi Redmond is busy not and to prove it she’s hatched a plan. You see after Mama Dee told her that LeeAnne called her an alcoholic, she decided she was going to get LeeAnne to admit to it. And just how is she going to do that? She’s going to get obnoxiously drunk to see if LeeAnne will call her an alcoholic and then I don’t know what she’s going to do after that because that’s as far as her plan went and she’ll probably be too drunk to do anything past that.

Cary, D’Andra, Brandi, and Stephanie Hollman head to dinner and it looks like a scene straight out of Sex and the City, except the characters in Sex and the City like each other. Kameron and LeeAnne join them and it’s already a dinner I’d like to leave. First off, I’m with Stephanie. Fancy food scares me, too, and I totally believe that she eats fries and tasty food. Kameron, on the other hand, is a little harder to take seriously when she says she’d rather be eating a cheeseburger. But I do appreciate her attempt to be relatable.

After the women order, Cary gives them the two options for day 2 of the trip: visit a brewery or take a cooking lesson. Brandi proclaims she will be attending the brewery, with her being an alcoholic and having a love affair with alcohol and all. Brandi’s not backing down from her plan – she is going to get WASTED. And that she does. She begins with her drink, then takes a shot, then takes almost everyone else’s shots, then drinks more drinks. I was getting drunk just watching her. A mini-intervention breaks out when the women start telling her to quit drinking, so Brandi takes a break and builds a pyramid with all of the drink glasses. So far her plan is flawless.

While Brandi constructs her monument, Cary asks LeeAnne how the wedding planning is coming along. LeeAnne talks about her wedding dress fitting and how wonderful it was, which prompts Cary to turn to D’Andra and tell her she wished D’Aandra could’ve attended. As you’ve probably guessed, this is where it turns. D’Andra responds with “I didn’t get invited until 9 the night before and also I have a job and a business to run.” Kameron chimes in with “well, why didn’t you call her” referring to her late invitation. D’Andra references her job again and the fact that she’s busy and has to plan things. Cary then asks D’Andra why her and LeeAnne are having such a hard time communicating, to which LeeAnne replies “it’s just a new thing.” Then, referring to the communication problem that does not involve her, Kameron talks about getting her head chewed off when she asked D’Andra a question. D’Andra snaps back, “that’s because it’s none of your business.”

OK, you know that girl in high school who would make passive aggressive comments and then pretend she was the victim when you answered back? She’s on a reality show and still doing it. Kameron begins with her “I was attacked” routine and after some back-and-forth, D’Andra tells Kameron that she’s not putting up with her crap anymore. If you’re not going to put up with Kameron’s crap, you can’t be her friend, so she grabs her bag and leaves the table. Cary is not happy about where this night has headed and excused herself as well. The biggest travesty though is the fact that Brandi’s plan has been foiled. She got annihilated drunk for nothing.

Now that dinner has been ruined they all leave the table and take the fighting back to the suite. D’Andra and Kameron run into each other in the hallway and rekindle their argument. Kameron calls D’Andra disgusting and psycho and they basically both just fight-talk over each other. D’Andra gets in the elevator and Kameron refuses to join her, even though they’re headed to the same place. The rest of the women have caught up to them and, you guys, nothing made my night like watching drunk Brandi trying to break up their fight. It. Was. Awesome.

Oddly enough, Brandi is the drunk one yet everyone else is emotional. Kameron is crying and saying she would never do that to a friend. LeeAnne and D’Andra talk and LeeAnne tells her that while Kameron may have pushed her buttons, it’s up to her how she reacts. She then makes a remark about taking time to get in control of her emotions, to which D’Andra replies “how long, 6 months?”, referring to the amount of time LeeAnne has been meditating. This comment obviously upsets LeeAnne and now there’s a whole new fight. LeeAnne joins an emotional Kameron and a drunk Brandi and tells them all that D’Andra only cares about being right, to which Kameron replies “go back and tell her she’s right, I don’t care.”

Well, LeeAnne didn’t need to go back and tell her anything because D’Andra walks into the room with the intention of clearing up a few things. D’Andra brings up everyone knowing about Beaver Creek, which Kameron admits to gossiping about except she only told her mother-in-law because they’re best friends (yeah, OK) and she tells her everything. LeeAnne piggy-backs on this and says “people talk” and then brings up D’Andra bringing Jimmy (Kameron’s mother-in-law) into it, which really fires up D’Andra making her turn to LeeAnne and tell her to shut up. LeeAnne stands on the couch like she’s about to lose it and D’Andra responds by pushing her. LeeAnne makes a fist, and then nothing happens because Cary intervenes. LeeAnne leaves and drunk Brandi stumbles after her. LeeAnne has had enough of D’Andra always having to be right and everyone being wrong and calls her a psycho. Drunk Brandi tells her “she’s your best friend” and LeeAnne is like “no she’s not, I’m done.”

So that was day 1. Day 2 begins with Brandi puking all morning. In regards to Brandi’s plan, Stephanie says it best when she says “yeah, she really showed her.” While Brandi’s bad plan repeats on her, Kameron and LeeAnne talk about the exchange they had with D’Andra, saying she needs anger management. To avoid having to spend the day with her they both decide to join Brandi and Stephanie at the brewery. This should show you just how much LeeAnne didn’t want to be around D’Andra as LeeAnne hates beer. At lease that’s what she says. She must’ve already forgotten about the rodeo and the beer bong. I have not. Upon their arrival they begin talking about the night before, theatrics and all. Kameron now believes that no matter what she says or does, D’Andra is going to attack her. LeeAnne then says the only reason she didn’t punch D’Andra was because Cary stopped her, then she gets emotional about being pushed to that point. She’s come a long way and is impressed with how she’s been able to keep herself together. Stephanie is impressed, too. She even asks Brandi if she thinks LeeAnne has done a good job keeping her anger in check and Brandi responds by drinking her wine.

Meanwhile, Cary and D’Andra are participating in the cooking lesson. They talk about the fight and while D’Andra claims she only snapped because Kameron got involved, she does feel bad about how she handled things with LeeAnne. She finally admits she was wrong.

Later that evening, the women attend Cary’s cousin’s album release party. The music is actually really good even though I didn’t have a translator. After the event, they head back to the hotel and have some cocktails. What could go wrong? Now, it starts out nice, sure, with Cary thanking everyone for joining her in Denmark. But that turns when Brandi decides to confront LeeAnne about the alcoholic comment. Brandi tells LeeAnne what Mama Dee told her and LeeAnne tells her she never used that word. Cary says she did, Kameron says no she didn’t, and that just leaves Brandi to explain that LeeAnne’s comment could have an effect on her adoption. LeeAnne doesn’t see how because it’s not like she’s telling the adoption people these things. She says this into the camera of the national reality show they are filming.

It isn’t just the adoption that is affected by LeeAnne’s comments. When she hears that word it triggers the hard time she went through with her husband, reminding her of her coping mechanism which was alcohol. LeeAnne apologizes to her face, but then tells us viewers, and possibly Brandi’s social workers who are no doubt watching this show, that she doesn’t believe Brandi is sophisticated enough to be an alcoholic. She believes she’s just a drunk. The more Brandi talks about the hurt LeeAnne caused the more upset she gets, so she excuses herself and us until next week.

Do these women forget that they’re on a reality show and we can all hear and see them? There have been so many accusations and denials that the reunion show is just going to be one flashback clip after another. They should just all claim to be alcoholics and call it a day. Who’s with me?! Comment below!

Category: Real Housewives Gossip, Recaps

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